Easily the most iconic weapon in the history of science fiction is the lightsaber from George Lucas’ Star Wars saga. From a cinematic standpoint, they’re a gorgeous source of light and color, and a neat way to put a sci-fi spin on a typical Kurosawa swordfight. From a thematic standpoint, they’ve been used to highlight both the benevolence of the Jedi and the cruelty of the Sith. But how would other sci-fi weapons fare against a lightsaber?
It’s tricky enough to keep track of power scaling on a universe-to-universe basis; there are a lot of opinions about who’s the most powerful Marvel hero, or who’s the most powerful DC hero. But the conversation goes off the rails when you start combining universes, i.e. who would win in a fight between Superman and Homelander? It’s debatable, of course — all of this is debatable — but I’m pretty sure these weapons would stand a chance against one of Lucas’ fabled lightsabers.
Auto 9
Robocop
Have you ever heard the phrase, don’t bring a knife to a gunfight? Don’t bring a lightsaber to a gunfight, either. The two different Star Wars canons differ on what would happen if a lightsaber user tried to defend themselves from real gunfire. The current canon suggests that lightsabers can melt bullets, but the old canon (the better canon) suggested that trying to block a metal bullet with a lightsaber would slice it up into molten shrapnel that then sprinkles into the lightsaber user’s face.
If that’s the case, then a lightsaber’s worst enemy would be Robocop’s service pistol. The Auto 9 is a heavily modified Beretta 93R machine pistol that Alex Murphy uses to mow down the criminals of Detroit. The film’s prop department gave it an extended barrel and raised iron sights to look more futuristic (and more proportional in Robocop’s hand), but the in-universe explanation is that his gun has a ridiculous amount of firepower.
If a bullet would indeed get shredded into red-hot ribbons by a lightsaber blade, then one of the massive rounds from Robocop’s Auto 9 would surely be a death sentence for a Jedi. Either way, I’d love to see what would happen if Robocop tried to arrest Yoda.
The Noisy Cricket
Men in Black
The Noisy Cricket is at the center of one of the best sight gags in Men in Black. When Agent J is about to go out on his first rodeo, his veteran partner Agent K arms him with a tiny little gun that fits neatly in the palm of his hand. Agent J jokes that the gun will be useless against an alien threat, and that it’s so small and dainty and delicate that he feels like he’s going to break it. But then, a few minutes later, in the heat of combat, he whips out this little gun and learns that looks can be deceiving.
Despite its diminutive size, the Noisy Cricket is packing a helluva lot of firepower. It’s so powerful that the first time Agent J pulls the trigger, the recoil sends him flying. The gun produces a giant orb of energy with the power to destroy a truck or cut through five feet of concrete. A lightsaber user coming up against the Noisy Cricket had better say their prayers and make peace with their god, because they’re not long for this world.
Proton Pack
Ghostbusters
What the Ghostbusters carry around on their backs is absurd. They walk around with a backpack-sized nuclear accelerator on their back, waving around a handheld wand that shoots a stream of highly focused and radially polarized protons to control the negatively charged energy of a ghost. They’ve basically got a mini-Chernobyl on their backs, waiting to cause a major disaster.
The lightsaber is elegant and precise, whereas the proton pack is heavy and barely aimable. We see throughout the Ghostbusters movies that it’s a miracle every time the proton pack hits its target. But purely from a power scaling standpoint, the proton pack carries more power and energy than a lightsaber (and that’s saying a lot).
The Power Sword
Masters of the Universe
One could argue that Masters of the Universe isn’t even sci-fi; it’s in kind of a gray area (no pun intended) between sci-fi and fantasy. It falls into the very niche “sword and planet” subcategory, which mixes the swordplay and dragons of fantasy with the space exploration of science fiction. At the heart of the Masters of the Universe lore is the Power Sword, or the Sword of Power, which contains the power of Grayskull and gives He-Man access to his superpowers (although his catchphrase and his larger story suggest he “has the power” within him all along).
I am confident that if He-Man and his Power Sword went into combat against Luke Skywalker and his lightsaber, He-Man would win. The lightsaber is basically just a long, thin bug zapper, but the Power Sword is a vessel for the power of Grayskull. Luke might be able to defeat He-Man using the Force (He-Man has big muscles, but he’s still susceptible to being pushed off a ledge), but his lightsaber alone wouldn’t be enough to do it.
M41A Pulse Rifle
Aliens
In the first Alien movie, the crew of the Nostromo had nothing for protection besides a flamethrower, and when a single xenomorph got aboard the ship, it effortlessly slaughtered all but one of them. Ellen Ripley made it into an escape pod by the skin of her teeth, and even then, that one xeno almost wiped her out. In Aliens, Ripley goes with a band of Colonial Marines to explore an off-world human colony that’s been infested with a hive of dozens and dozens of xenomorphs that have killed, again, all but one of the inhabitants.
But the Marines are much more prepared than the Nostromo crew were. They’re armed with M41A Pulse Rifles, which make short work of the xenos. They’re nature’s perfect killing machines, but they’re neither bulletproof nor bombproof. As explained by Hicks, who describes the M41A as a close personal friend, it’s a 10mm firearm with over-and-under 30mm pump-action grenade launcher.
The M41A Pulse Rifle has enough firepower to blow a swarm of xenomorphs to kingdom come, so I’m pretty sure it would have no problem up against a lightsaber. Before Obi-Wan Kenobi and his little laser-sword could get anywhere near Hicks, Hicks would’ve emptied two or three magazines into Obi-Wan’s eviscerated, unrecognizable corpse.
Wolverine’s Adamantium Claws
X-Men
Captain America’s vibranium shield wouldn’t stand a chance against a lightsaber. A lightsaber-wielding Sith Lord might not cut through Cap’s shield in one clean motion, but if they stuck at it long enough, eventually the lightsaber would melt through the shield, and Cap would be left defenseless. Iron Man’s repulsors would be useless against a lightsaber, because they’re just energy beams fired from afar, which a Jedi or Sith could easily block.
But there is one Marvel hero that a lightsaber would not be able to stop, and that’s Wolverine. In the Marvel Comics canon, true adamantium is completely indestructible, and once it has fully set, it cannot possibly be melted, no matter how much heat you throw at it, and it cannot be cut, no matter how strong or sharp your blade is. So, if a lightsaber user came at Wolverine, all he’d have to do is hold up his adamantium claws to block their attack.